


World On A Cliffhanger

by JRanger_Raven



Category: Ranger's Apprentice - John Flanagan
Genre: F/M, TRR alternate universe, for a bud, its basically trr without maddie, its sad but just trust me here, mentions of halt, youre welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 17:18:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6088002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JRanger_Raven/pseuds/JRanger_Raven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been three months since Alyss left... and Will knows he needs to either get past it, or at least not let his grief get in the way of his work. But he still can't help but feel like he can't let go of her... not yet...</p>
            </blockquote>





	World On A Cliffhanger

**Author's Note:**

  * For [when-there-is-a-will](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=when-there-is-a-will).



> Dedicated to (and requested by) my friend, buddy, pal, and the most hardcore Wilyss shipper in the physical and metaphysical world, Ruqaiyah. Ily, hope you like this

Maybe he was used to it…

Sometimes, a few minutes could go by where he didn’t feel quite right, but he didn’t feel wrong. He wasn’t complete inside like he used to be, but he could push it to the back of his mind and focus on reality. It wasn’t happiness, and it wasn’t desolation. It was a kind of… numbness; a relief compared to the moments where he could feel everything. But it only lasted a few minutes every time.

Once they passed, he would notice how they’d passed and she would surface to his mind again… it was inevitable. Will wondered if those few minutes where he could feel nothing could become a few hours, then a few days, then a few weeks, and soon enough he would stop feeling like there was a drought in his heart.

But he didn’t want to get used to it. He didn’t want to be numb, but he couldn’t stand another second of that aching torment, running through the veins of his heart like an infection he couldn’t get rid of.

He wanted her back.

 

Will opened his eyes to lazily greet a new morning. The sun was just peeking into his window, casting the shadow of the trees outside his room onto his face, and for a moment it made him smile. Feeling the sun on his face the first thing in the morning was like being kissed awake by an angel.

And he immediately wished he hadn’t thought that.

Will turned halfway over, onto his back, and glanced over at the other side of the bed.

Why did he even try anymore?

 

The first taste of coffee in the morning was always pleasant. Will took it all in with a mild smile on his face, and came up for air sighing in satisfaction. He warmed up some bacon he had cooked the day before, and made himself scrambled eggs to go with it, the best breakfast for a ranger. It was rich with protein, relatively easy to make, and, most importantly of all, delicious with coffee. Then he sat at the table, eating as Sable stared up at him like a vulture circling its prey.

Will said sternly, “No, girl. My breakfast. Mine.” Sable whined. “No.” She stared longingly up at him with the biggest puppy eyes he’d ever seen on a dog. “No.”

And, like always, Will eventually relented and tossed her a piece of bacon.

Even after she had gotten a taste of something, Sable was still expecting to get more. She stayed by the table, whining. Will rolled his eyes. “Greedy dog,” he whispered. His words fell on deaf ears.

 

Will started his daily training with some knife-throwing. He hit the target dead on every time, so he pushed himself to throw it faster and take less time in between each throw. As Halt had told him countless times when he was an apprentice, there was always a way to get better. Throw faster. Hit the target harder. Dig the blade in deeper.

After his arm was warmed up, he went on to practice his archery. He was sharp, sharper than most, or all of the rangers in the corp. Will didn’t like to flaunt that idea around, or bring it up when he didn’t have to because he was humbler than that… but he sure hadn’t forgotten it. What good was that title if he didn’t take pride in it?

In the middle of his practice, Will glanced up to see the condition of the sky- if it was going to rain or not. Definitely not, he decided. It was an unusually calm day. There was absolutely no wind, and all the clouds had cleared out of the sky and ran away miles away like they were never coming back.

It was noon.

Everything was so still… too still, like his whole world had just been taken out of time. His body was inside a glass dome and everything passed around it, but he did not move.

Will closed his eyes. He forgot somewhat what he was doing, and just planted his feet on the ground firmly and didn’t budge… He froze with the wind; with the time. It felt like his entire world was hanging by a string on the edge of a cliff, just waiting for the right moment to drop. Will couldn’t decide if it was peaceful or frightening.

But it was neither. It was disturbing. Something was wrong. Something... just didn’t settle right with him. It was not his brain telling him something was wrong, it was his intuition. As Rangers, they had to trust their hearts just as much as their heads.

And then he remembered, again… he never failed to remember everything that he didn’t have.

Will opened his eyes. “Why can’t you be here again?” he whispered. Every time he felt like he had gotten used to it, like he could move on, or like he could push it into the back of his mind just enough to feel like he used to… Will knew there was something missing. A plate in his heart hadn’t shifted to fit right with everything else. Something wasn’t right, and he couldn’t move on.

 

For the good of himself and the entire Ranger Corp, Will knew that even if he couldn’t stop missing Alyss, he had to stop thinking about it and leave the past in the past. The problem was, to him, it wasn’t the past. Half the time he knew he should focus his life on something else, and the other half of him said, “no, you’re not done yet”. And both parts died a little every day Will couldn’t hold her hand... Why couldn’t he be done?

Why couldn’t those plates click into place?

Another day gone, and nothing had changed. Will sat on the couch, by the cold fireplace and closed his eyes. If he fell asleep there, he thought, it wouldn’t be a big deal. His body was conditioned to wake up at the same time anywhere, and he didn’t have an apprentice to judge him, so who cared where he fell asleep?

Evanlyn- Cassandra, he corrected himself- and Horace had been trying to push their daughter onto him to mentor, but everybody knew Will wasn’t ready for that yet. Will didn’t think he was ready. When he thought back to the days when he was still Halt’s apprentice, his heart dropped. He could never be as good of a teacher as his mentor...

Halt insisted Will was a better ranger than him, and Will still didn’t see how.

Will chuckled aloud. When he was in this state, how was he a better ranger than anybody? Halt always seemed so… together. Even when he wasn’t feeling well, he never let it get to him, and he never let anything go if he didn’t feel it was finished.

Or if it felt so wrong and so painful that it was killing him from the inside out…

Like his world was on a cliffhanger.

Will tightened his hand in a ball, trapping the fabric of his shirt in his fist, just so he had something to hang onto while his mind spun wildly. “What is it?” he whispered. “Is it you?” He clenched his teeth. “I can’t have you anymore. If you’re what I need to feel like I’m complete again, then I’m never going to be, because… you’re just…” A tear slid down the side of his face. “I need you,” he sobbed. “Tell me what I’m missing. Tell me what I haven’t done.”

Will closed his eyes, pushing some more tears out. He didn’t want to feel numb. He didn’t want to feel the pain of his shattered heart. He was trying his hardest to put the pieces back together, but several were missing, and until he found them, nothing was going to feel okay.

“I’m trying to fix myself, but something tells me I can’t let you go,” he said. “I know you’re gone… you’re in the past… God, I-I’m trying so hard, but-”

Tug whinnied outside, his friendly greeting to a familiar face getting close to the cabin. Will made a sound, something between a choking noise, a grunt, and a sob. Now, of all times? If it was Halt, visiting to try and push Madelyn on him because ‘it would help him’, then he was going to shoot something. And it was probably going to be himself. Madelyn was not that thing he needed, the piece that was driving Will mad. Halt could never understand.

Whoever it was, it could wait. Will’s eyes were red, and his face was streaked with tears. He was in no position to talk to anybody. He just laid there, feet propped up on one arm of the couch and resting his head on the other. His hands were laid beside each other on his stomach. It barely moved when he breathed.

Will closed his eyes, and wished it would all go away.

Maybe it was something important that he needed to pay attention to… maybe it was a messenger the king sent, and they needed him to come to the kingdom for some emergency. Will just didn’t care.

He had been taught all throughout his many years of training, and then through his years of being a full-fledged ranger to never miss an opportunity, or assume something is okay when it’s not. Collect all the information you can and don’t let yourself be lazy when there’s something you need to do. It was all part of being a ranger.

Will looked and looked, but he couldn’t find any part of him that cared about being a ranger anymore.

He waited for somebody to knock on the door, but no sound came. Will hoped he’d imagined it. He didn’t want to talk to anybody. He didn’t even want to be awake.

But he heard the door open, and a pair of footsteps approaching him. It still wasn’t enough for him to open his eyes. Whoever it was would just see him laying there, tears rolling down his face, and whoever it was would hopefully just leave… Will didn’t mind. He was too tired to speak.

He hoped they were here to kill him.

The stranger walked around to where his head was, and put their arms around his shoulders. They smelled really nice… like the scent of a flower just washed over him. Two warm, small lips touched the skin of his forehead. They felt like petals dropping on his head.

Something made of magic coursed through his veins, like the princess whose sleep was broken by a kiss of true love. Will didn’t remember wanting to look, but his eyes opened anyway. Above him were two, bright, beautiful eyes, staring into his own, dark, lifeless ones.

She smiled like she was about to cry. The spell broke.

And Will was sobbing before he knew it. His chest rose when everything inside of him swelled and every cell inside of him came to life. Will couldn’t put into words, and he couldn’t replicate what he felt when he saw that face again above him, and he felt those arms around him. But he breathed. He breathed, for the first time in an eternity, like he had spent his entire life holding his breath.

Tears spilled out over Will’s face and he couldn’t have stopped them if his life depended on it. “A-Alyss,” he cried. “Alyss, I…”

His wife’s arms tightened around and she bent down to push their lips together. Her face was wet, too, but she couldn’t feel her life clicking into place again. She hadn't spent the past three months believing he was gone forever.

Everything inside of him was falling apart, but he had never felt more whole.

Will broke the kiss, only to jump off the couch and pull Alyss into his arms, what he'd never thought he could do again. This was her. She was… here… Her smell, her body, her smile, her hair, everything… It was heaven itself. “A-Alyss,” he sobbed. “I… Where… You…” His brain couldn't form words. How could she be alive? He didn't care.

“Will,” she said, running a hand through his hair. Her lips were against his ear. “I’m here. I’m here…”

He sank to the floor, when his knees were shaking so hard that he couldn’t stand anymore. His entire body was an earthquake. Alyss sat with him, holding his head against her chest and kissing him everywhere on his head. “I, I need you,” Will choked. “I need… Stay… I-I love you.”

“I’m never going,” she whispered. Seeing Will fall apart so hard was making her begin to understand how much she needed him, and how stupid it was that she tried to keep herself from crying… Nobody here needed to be strong. “I’m never leaving again. I love you. I love you so much. I-I’m staying, forever… Forever. This time.”

All the plates clicked into place. She was alive… here… somewhere in Will’s intuition, buried under all his depression, he knew it before he saw her. He could feel in his bones that something wasn't right. He couldn't accept her death yet.

Will held her for countless minutes, still crying, still trying to wrap his mind around it. But this was unmistakable. If it was a dream, he didn’t want to wake up. Alyss told him over and over that this was real...

And he believed her.


End file.
